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OKANAGAN LAKE BC

STOP ADULT AND CHILD BULLYING

MAKE A COMMENT ABOUT ADULT AND CHILD BULLYING

TO BE POSTED TO THIS WEBSITE

COMMENT FORM

LAST UPDATE April 14, 2014

Blue Divider Line

No Bully Zone

Blue Divider Line

FREE STOP ADULT BULLYING SIGN FOR YOUR WEBSITE

If you wish to show your support against adult bullying, you are free to use this "STOP ADULT BULLYING" sign on your own website or any place you wish.  okanaganlakebc.ca made this sign and it is not copyright.

If you want a sticker of this sign for your vehicles window, this exact anti-bullying sign "STOP ADULT BULLYING" can be ordered here at www.idecal.com located in the Spallumcheen Industrial Park on the outskirts of Armstrong BC near Vernon BC for $25.00.  okanaganlakebc.ca ordered one of these stop adult bullying vinyl decals from www.idecal.com and so this graphic in stock.  All you have to do is order. This stop adult bullying vinyl decal is stuck on the back window of okanaganlakebc.ca's vehicle.  If you like it, please support anti-bullying and order a decal for your window.

Stop Adult Bullying Sign - Free to use anywhere you wish - this sign is not copyright.

 

The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you just called stupid? He has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There's a lot more to people than you think.

Blue Divider Line

Show me where the bullies are.

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.pdf icon April 11, 2013 Regional District of Central Okanagan Governance and Services Committee Meeting Agenda

.pdf icon  Item 5.2 Crime Stoppers Program

Central Okanagan Crime Stoppers Statistics 2012 Since Inception 1987
Tips received 1,090 19,820
Tip follow ups 1,435 4,344
Arrests made 83 2,400
Fugitives arrested 52 713
Cases cleared 84 3,325
Charges laid 55 450
Rewards approved 38 713
Rewards collected(claimed) 10 337
Reward Amounts approved $10,655 $264,303
Weapons seized 4 25
Property recovered $5,450 $3,528,187
Drugs seized $9,296,030 $77,313,836

-------------------------------

.mp3 file icon - click here for help with audio April 11, 2013 audio of entire RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting - .mp3 (24.6 MB)

Click this Windows Media Audio icon for help with audio files April 11, 2013 audio of RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting only about Item 5.2 Crime Stoppers Program - .wma (21.8 MB)

Click this Windows Media Audio icon for help with audio files April 11, 2013 audio of RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting only about Item 5.2 Crime Stoppers Program motion - .wma (516 KB)

Click this Windows Media Audio icon for help with audio files April 11, 2013 audio of RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting only about Director Edgson talking about bullying - .wma (2.03 MB)

Click this Windows Media Audio icon for help with audio files April 11, 2013 audio of RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting only about Director Edgson talking about RDCO taking action about bullying - .wma (1.06 MB)

Click this Windows Media Audio icon for help with audio files April 11, 2013 audio of RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting only about Director Given saying that RDCO should liason with the School Board about bullying - .wma (886 KB)

.pdf icon April 11, 2013 Regional District of Central Okanagan Governance and Services Committee Meeting Minutes

5.2 Gerry Guiltenane, Coordinator - re: Crime Stoppers Program Update Gerry Guiltenane addressed the committee, providing an update on Crime Stoppers
• Crime Stoppers Board consists of 13 board members.
• 2013 wrapped up of 25 years of operation in the Central Okanagan.
• There are two paid positions for the program.
• Another successful year for a number of their community programs: unsolved crimes, Kelowna's Most Wanted, mug shots, tips from the public - web-based and text.
• Over $10 million in drugs were seized last year.
• Working with UBC-O on some website development to improve the look and functionality of their website.
• Major event - 'fit for defence' - an anti-bullying program in the school district
• Annual golf tournament funds go to pay for rewards and operation of society.
• One of the most successful programs has been the mug shot program.
• Over 300 tips so far this year. 14 wanted persons arrested to date this year.

Discussion:
-The question was raised regarding what type of funding are you looking for the 'Fit for Defence' program? $40,000. Crime Stoppers funding is no longer available so the program will stop but the Society continues to look for opportunities to fund the
program.
-Are we scratching the surface in drug seizures? Treading water! What is the current drug of choice: marijuana is the easiest to get, but heroin and crack cocaine are the most prevalent drugs in the Central Okanagan
-School liaison officer program in schools very critical.
-Are you working on a gang defence program? This program does work in some school districts. There is a significant amount of work done in the school district:
bullying, social media, gangs, drugs, etc. There is a significant concern in our school district, as well as provincially.
-Is there something at the Board level that can be done to help make a difference?

The School Liaison Officer funding is vital. It was noted that School District No. 23 has a safe schools committee. It is important to understand their role, what is being done, and the connection with the school board.

GIVEN/GRAY
THAT the Crime Stoppers Program presentation be received for information;
AND FURTHER THAT the School District be invited to a future meeting to provide information on its school crime prevention programs including: anti-bullying program, Fit for Defence, school liaison program.

CARRIED

-------------------------------

.mp3 file icon - click here for help with audio April 11, 2013 audio of entire RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting - .mp3 (24.6 MB)

Click this Windows Media Audio icon for help with audio files April 11, 2013 audio of RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting only about Item 5.2 Crime Stoppers Program - .wma (21.8 MB)

Click this Windows Media Audio icon for help with audio files April 11, 2013 audio of RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting only about Item 5.2 Crime Stoppers Program motion - .wma (516 KB)

Click this Windows Media Audio icon for help with audio files April 11, 2013 audio of RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting only about Director Edgson talking about bullying - .wma (2.03 MB)

Click this Windows Media Audio icon for help with audio files April 11, 2013 audio of RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting only about Director Edgson talking about RDCO taking action about bullying - .wma (1.06 MB)

Click this Windows Media Audio icon for help with audio files April 11, 2013 audio of RDCO Governance and Services Committee meeting only about Director Given saying that RDCO should liason with the School Board about bullying - .wma (886 KB)

Blue Divider Line

Do you think initiatives like Pink Shirt Day and anti-bullying laws are making a difference?

Yes: 186
No: 449

Source: Castanet.net Poll February 28, 2013 - 635 votes

Blue Divider Line

Bullying Message from a BC Teacher

A teacher in BC, teaching her class about bullying, gave them an exercise to perform. She had the children take out a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up but not to rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty is was. She then told them to... tell it they’re sorry. Even though they said they were sorry and ...tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And pointed out that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they try to fix it. That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they’re sorry, but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home. *Copy and paste this if you are against bullying.  VERY POWERFUL MESSAGE HERE! (this applies to so many situations those painful scars never ever disappear.

As seen on Facebook

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Bullying victim mourned at Quebec rally
Castanet.net - by The Canadian Press - Story: 68091 - Dec 3, 2011

Friends and family of a 15-year-old girl who killed herself after being apparently bullied by classmates gathered in Granby, Que. today for her funeral.

Marjorie Raymond took her own life on Nov. 28 in the tiny town of Ste-Anne-des-Monts, Que.

She told her mother in a suicide note that she couldn't endure the physical and psychological abuse any longer.

Meanwhile a group in Montreal held an anti-bullying rally in an East End park.

The rally was organized by a local mother whose own son was also bullied at school.

It had already been planned before organizers learned of Raymond's suicide.

Organizer Isabelle Marchand said they decided to dedicate the rally to her memory.

"We need to raise awareness about this issue together," she said.

"I've organized this rally along with my son but we can't change things alone."

Marchand said it's crucial that teachers and school administrators work with parents to eliminate bullying.

Raymond's death has sparked outrage in Quebec and fuelled debate across the country about how to deal with the problem.

Her mother Chantal Larose has called for tougher laws to discourage bullying.

The recent suicide of 15-year-old Jamie Hubley, a boy who was targeted as an openly gay student at his Ottawa school, also touched a nerve.

Hubley's death helped drive the Ontario government to introduce new anti-bullying legislation.

Blue Divider Line

A poster child for bullying.  His name is Casey Heynes.  At the link you will find a video of a bully bullying Casey Heynes that went viral on You-Tube.  okanaganlakebc.ca supports Casey Heynes and feel Casey did the right thing.  That is only because if Casey were to tell on the bully, nobody would take Casey seriously and the bully would continue bullying Casey.

Casey said he contemplated suicide

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Canadian Legal Information Institute (CanLII) case summaries concerning bullying in Canada

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Bullying: what is it?
Types of bullying, bullying tactics, how targets are selected, the difference between bullying and harassment
An answer to the question "Why me?"

Source: http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm#Why

Blue Divider Line

Why don't you stand up for yourself?
Asserting your right not to be bullied, fighting back, taking action
"Why don't you stand up for yourself?" is an oft-asked question. We're adults, aren't we?

In most cases, the bullying follows a two-phase procedure. Phase one is control which is exercised through constant trivial daily nit-picking criticism etc. Eventually there's a defining moment when the target realises that the criticisms have no validity and that they constitute bullying; the target asserts their right not to be bullied, perhaps by initiating a grievance, and the bullying moves into phase two: elimination, which is achieved by dismissal on false charges, ill-health retirement, forced resignation, redundancy, or death from suicide or heart attack due to prolonged negative stress.

when the symptoms of psychiatric injury start to appear the bully plays the mental health trap, claiming this person "has a mental health problem" (psychiatric injury has nothing to do with mental illness - click here to see the differences)
the target has no knowledge of serial bullies, sociopaths, etc, and no experience of dealing with these characters

disbelief is prevalent too - the target fears that no-one will believe them and even the target eventually questions their belief that this is happening, especially as the bully persistently and plausibly denies everything

Source: http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/standup.htm

Blue Divider Line

What is Mobbing?

In a mobbing situation, the ringleader incites supporters, cohorts, copycats and unenlightened, inexperienced, immature or emotionally needy individuals with poor values to engage in adversarial interaction with the selected target. The ringleader, or chief bully, gains gratification from encouraging others to engage in adversarial interaction with the target. Many people use the word "mobbing" to describe this pack attack by many on one individual. Once mobbing is underway the chief bully foments the mobbing into mutually assured destruction, from which the chief bully gains intense gratification - this is a feature of people with psychopathic personality.

Source: http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/mobbing.htm

Blue Divider Line

Recovery from a bullying experience is measured in years. Some people never fully recover

Common symptoms of PTSD and Complex PTSD that sufferers report experiencing

•hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia)
•exaggerated startle response
•irritability
•sudden angry or violent outbursts
•flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive recollections, replays, violent visualisations
•triggers
•sleep disturbance
•exhaustion and chronic fatigue
•reactive depression
•guilt
•feelings of detachment
•avoidance behaviours
•nervousness, anxiety
•phobias about specific daily routines, events or objects
•irrational or impulsive behaviour
•loss of interest
•loss of ambition
•anhedonia (inability to feel joy and pleasure)
•poor concentration
•impaired memory
•joint pains, muscle pains
•emotional numbness
•physical numbness
•low self-esteem
•an overwhelming sense of injustice and a strong desire to do something about it
 

Source: http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm

Blue Divider Line

Psychiatric injury

•is driven by the anger of injustice
•looks forward to each new day as an opportunity to fight for justice
•refuses to be beaten, refuses to give up

Source: http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm#Differences

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Edmonton police can ticket bullies under new bylaw
CBC News Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Edmonton city council passed a bylaw Tuesday prohibiting people from bullying anyone under the age of 18 in a public place.
That makes it the the first city to outlaw schoolyard bullying.

Other cites are already interested in Edmonton's initiative, said Coun. Jane Batty.

The city's had queries from Calgary and several Ontario communities, she said.

Under Edmonton's bylaw, anyone caught bullying could be fined as much as $250.

Police who work in the city's schools pushed for the bylaw, saying they're concerned about bullying becoming a major issue.

Edmonton Mayor Bill Smith supported the bylaw, saying it will send a message that bullying won't be tolerated.

"I know the school boards and the police service support it. It's just allowing them a tool to take care of people who do bad things," said Smith.

The bylaw says bullying occurs when a minor feels tormented, troubled, worried, plagued or badgered.

Only police officers could ticket offenders and the $250 fine is intended as a last resort.

The bylaw gives police another tool to deal with teen violence. Up to 70 per cent of the complaints in schools are related to bullying, said Const. Dan Williams, the school resource officer who proposed the idea.

School bullying is a nationwide problem.


FROM JAN. 2, 2002: Teen jailed for bullying

But Edmonton Councillor Ed Gibbons questioned how the bylaw will be enforced.

"I've talked to judges and I've talked to lawyers and they do not know how this can be enacted. Just to be the first city to have this doesn't wash with me," said Gibbons.

Other opponents said police are already too busy to worry about fining bullies

-------------------------------------------------------------

Edmonton police can ticket bullies under this new bylaw:

Bullying - Public Places Bylaw 14614 (.doc)

Blue Divider Line

Anti-bullying bylaw urged
By The Leader-Post (Regina) February 21, 2006

Regina Police Chief Cal Johnston is recommending that city council pass an anti-bullying bylaw to address "growing concerns'' in the community about bullying.

Regina Police Chief Cal Johnston is recommending that city council pass an anti-bullying bylaw to address "growing concerns'' in the community about bullying.

That recommendation, in a report to the city's Board of Police Commissioners, is slated to be discussed at a police commission meeting on Thursday.

Johnston is specifically recommending that the police commission give its blessings to the creation of an anti-bullying bylaw and pass the matter on to city council, which could then give instructions to the city solicitor to draft a proposed bylaw for consideration.

"Bullying of our youth is a matter of growing concern for many residents in the city of Regina,'' Johnston noted in his written report.

"The city of Regina does not have an anti-bullying bylaw nor does it address the issue of consensual fights in any of its bylaws,'' he added.

But local governments in several other jurisdictions (including Saskatoon, North Battleford, Moose Jaw and Edmonton) have developed anti-bullying bylaws, Johnston said.

Johnston's proposal received a strong endorsement Monday from Coun. Bill Hutchinson, who is a member of the police commission.

"We do have a problem in our city,'' Hutchinson said in a telephone interview.

"It's time to take action."

In his report, Johnston said the police commission should ask city council to give police the power to issue a ticket "to participants involved in bullying behaviour and those involved -- directly or indirectly -- with consensual public fights.''

There have been incidents in Regina "where large gatherings of students were recording fights and displaying them on Web sites,'' Johnston said.

The practice of "flaming'' -- in which e-mail messages are sent to a bullying victim and to a variety of other people -- is another form of bullying, Johnston said.

Name-calling and ostracism are among the other forms of bullying, he said.

There have been bullying incidents in other cities (the Reena Virk case in Victoria, B.C., for example) where people have died as a result of severe physical assaults, Johnston noted.

And there have also been deaths (such as the Columbine High School incident in Colorado) where victims of abuse have struck back violently, Johnston said.

Terry Lazarou, supervisor of communications with the Regina Public School Board, said the school board already has its own policies and procedures to deal with bullying.

But the school board would generally welcome any additional tools, including an appropriate city bylaw, that would assist in dealing with bullying, Lazarou said.

School board officials have already looked at a very preliminary proposed version of the bylaw the city could consider passing, Lazarou said.

The proposed bylaw would not just be for schools and could be used to deal with situations that occurred virtually anywhere in the city.

(c) CanWest MediaWorks Publications Inc

Blue Divider Line

How many adult suicides are caused by bullying? Consider the following:

bullying (an abdication and denial for the effect of one's behaviour on others)
...causes...
prolonged negative stress (psychiatric injury)
...which includes...
reactive depression (the cause is external - someone is responsible and liable)
...which results in...
fluctuating baseline of one's objectivity (balance of the mind disturbed)
...which leads to...
contemplated suicide (being viewed as suffering mental illness)
...culminating in...
attempted suicide (cry for help)
...which may end in...
suicide (manslaughter - causation)

It's likely that many suicides are the result of bullying, but the target's lack of awareness of what is going on, their unwillingness to confide what is happening, the traumatization, and the inability to articulate, everyone else's denial, the bully's accomplished lying and Jekyll and Hyde nature, plus the general lack of knowledge and awareness of society, prevent the real cause from being identified.

Source:  http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/health.htm

Blue Divider Line

Bullying support groups in Canada

Anti Workplace Bullying Support Group in Vancouver, BC, Canada: we're Karen and Stephen and we're two targets of workplace bullies who have set up a support group in the Greater Vancouver area (Canada) which meets monthly. Our aim is to share information pertaining to laws and regulations in British Columbia (which seems to be at least ten years behind much of the "civilized" world) and raise enough awareness within the province to facilitate a change in attitude. We also wish to offer mutual support, advice help and encouragement for fellow targets of workplace bullying. To join or find out more, please email us at nobullyforme "at" shaw.ca, letting us know how we may contact you, which city you are from and, if you like, a bit of background with regards to your bullying experience. We have a web site at http://www.nobullyforme.org/
and a forum/board for people with updated articles and health info at http://p066.ezboard.com/bnobullyforme

Blue Divider Line

NEWS RELEASE

For Immediate Release
2011PREM0064-000701

June 13, 2011
Office of the Premier
Ministry of Children and Family Development
Ministry of Education

Anti-bullying program branches out in B.C. schools

BURNABY – Joined by kindergarten children at Morley elementary school, Premier Christy Clark today announced the expansion in B.C. of the internationally recognized Roots of Empathy anti-bullying program.

“Children deserve to grow up without fear of bullying and as Premier I promised to provide programs to students that teach them core values like respect, kindness and empathy,” said Premier Clark. “The Roots of Empathy program delivers on that promise and helps teach young children how to act towards each other. Bullying has no place in our schools and parents deserve to know their children are safe in school. Roots of Empathy will help accomplish that goal.”

Premier Christy Clark, joined by Minister of Children and Family Development Mary McNeil, Richmond East MLA Linda Reid and Roots of Empathy founder Mary Gordon, announced the expansion of the Roots program into approximately 360 kindergarten classrooms across B.C. this year. The Seeds of Empathy program, which focuses on teaching four- and five-year-olds, will also be expanded into 22 preschools or child care settings in 2011-12.

The programs will be co-funded by the Ministry of Children and Family Development and the Ministry of Education. The two ministries have committed to jointly provide $800,000 annually to support both of these programs over five years.

“Both of these programs offer an enlightened way of opening children’s eyes to the world around them, and teaching young children about empathy, trust, and encouraging kindness with one another,” said Mary McNeil, Minister of Children and Family Development. “We hope that children will take these positive values with them as they grow into teenagers and adults – supporting the development of safe, peaceful, and caring communities.”

“We know that bullying can have a devastating effect on children and youth,” said George Abbott, Minister of Education. “Roots of Empathy teaches kids early on that our own actions and words have real power, and can have a positive – or negative – effect on those around us.”

An anti-bullying classroom program for elementary school students, the Roots of Empathy program actively promotes respectful, kind behaviour and addresses aggressive behaviours such as bullying, harassment, violence and intimidation. The program brings together a family with a young infant and volunteers in an elementary classroom 27 times over the school year. Students are coached to observe the baby’s development, celebrate milestones, interact with the baby and learn about an infant’s needs and unique temperament.

The Roots of Empathy program was founded in Canada in 1996 by Mary Gordon, an internationally recognized educator, social entrepreneur, author and child advocate. Roots of Empathy has grown across the globe, with programs offered in Canada, New Zealand, the United States, the Isle of Man, the Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland and Scotland.

“My deepest gratitude to Premier Clark for reinstating support and funding to the Roots of Empathy program,” said Mary Gordon, Roots of Empathy founder and president. “Research tells us that the thousands of B.C. children who receive the program will bully less, be more cooperative, caring and kind. This investment in children's social and emotional development is an investment in a more caring, peaceful and civil society.”

Modelled on the Roots of Empathy program, Seeds of Empathy is designed for early childhood settings to foster social and emotional competence and early literacy skills in pre-school aged children (three to five years old). The Ministry of Children and Family Development currently supports the Seeds of Empathy program in 14 urban Aboriginal settings and First Nations communities throughout B.C. and has provided $1.3 million in program funding for Seeds of Empathy since 2004.

“We know that children learn so much at an early age – that the foundations of behaviour are established early in life,” said Linda Reid, MLA for Richmond East. “These fabulous programs help give our little ones the best start possible in school and in life, teaching them understanding and compassion and, ultimately, how to be a good parent to their own children.”

Roots of Empathy and Seeds of Empathy are evidence-based programs with positive track records in promoting empathy and compassion in children. Evaluations have repeatedly proven that participants experience increased positive social behaviour, such as sharing, helping and including, and decreased rates of bullying and aggression.

Contact:

Chris Olsen
Press Secretary
Office of the Premier
604 220-1640

Cindy Rose
Media Relations Manager
Ministry of Children and Family Development
250 356-1639

Connect with the Province of B.C. at: www.gov.bc.ca/connect

Blue Divider Line

The Royal Wedding

Reports say Kate Middleton bullied in school, supporting anti-bullying as a bride
ca.royalwedding - Yahoo.com - By Lylah Alphonse, Shine staff - Thu, 7 Apr, 2011

The charities on the royal couple's wedding registry shed light on their lifestyle, but they also offer clues to their past. Among the 26 charities to which guests can choose to donate is BeatBullying.org—and its inclusion on the list seems to be a de-facto admission that Kate Middleton was, indeed, bullied as a child.

When the princess-to-be was just 13, she attended Downe House, a posh private school in Cold Ash, Thatcham. But her parents pulled her out in the middle of the school year and enrolled her at Marlborough College in April 1996.

"She hated it, absolutely hated it," her former Marlborough classmate Jessica Hay said of Kate's time at Downe House. "The girls were horrible. She was picked on because she was perfect."

Hay shared a dormitory with Middleton at Marlborough, and said that she and Kate would share late-night heart-to-heart chats, during which Kate confided about her experience at Downe House.

"She said that there was a group of girls that called her names and they stole her books and stuff – little things like that," Hay told The Daily Mail in an interview. "They rounded up on her a bit because she was quite a soft and nice person."

Apparently, mean girl bullying tactics are the same across the pond as they are here in the U.S. "When she used to go to lunch she would sit down with people and they all used to get up and sit on another table," Hay said.

In interviews with author Sean Smith for his new book, "Kate," which will be published just a few days after the royal wedding, other classmates have described the bride-to-be as "fairly quiet and very nice," "a non-entity," and "thin and pale" as a 13-year-old day student at the all-girls school. "You didn’t get much impression of a personality really," one former classmate said. During her short stint at Downe House, which costs more per year than many American universities, "She was unrecognizable as the person she is now." In a preview for his book, Smith refers to Middleton's "unhappy time being bullied at school before finding her feet at Marlborough College, where she was transformed from an ugly duckling to a swan."

Susan Cameron, former headmistress at Downe House, told The Daily Mail that while Kate did not suffer any "serious harassment," classroom cattiness and teasing could have made her uncomfortable. "I think it’s fair to say she was unsettled and not particularly happy," Cameron said. "Maybe in Kate’s case she just kind of went quiet and didn’t say anything."

"Girls are cliquey by nature and they can be rather cruel," she added. "They can sense those who are slightly weaker, or who haven’t shown their strengths yet, and it’s those girls who are likely to end up being picked on or teased." She called the environment at the all-girls school a "hotbed of estrogen" and admitted that, while the girls "could be nasty to each other," they were mostly just "girls being girls."

"I honestly think the bullying issue has all been blown up to fit the fact that she’s chosen this charity," Cameron concluded. "Hand on heart, I can almost swear nothing terrible happened to her at Downe House."

In her interview with Smith, former classmate Hay had said that Middleton's tormenters had smeared her bed at Downe House with feces. But, given that Middleton was a day student and not a boarder at that school, it's unlikely that she had a bed there to begin with. Now Hay, who recently quit her job to focus on selling her story, claims that she was misquoted.

A close friend of Middleton’s said of Hay yesterday: "She is not and never has been a friend. Many claims are just fantasies." Smith says that he recorded the interview, and that Hay was not misquoted.

Regardless of the extent to which she was bullied, the fact that Kate Middleton is shining a light on the subject by including Beatbullying.org on her wedding registry has many people cheering.

A spokesman for Beatbullying said it had had no direct contact with the couple but plans to invite Kate to become a patron. "We advocate peer-to-peer support," he said, "and this resonates with the couple as they are young role models themselves.

Blue Divider Line

Wear pink to stop bullying
by Castanet Staff - Story: 60161 - Feb 21, 2011

The Okanagan Boys and Girls Clubs are once again joining the Provincial and National movement to celebrate Pink Shirt Day – Bullying Stops Here, on Wednesday February 23.

City councils across the Okanagan along with Boys and Girls Club kids, staff, school districts, McDonald’s staff and other community members will be wearing pink to raise awareness and to demonstrate that everyone is part of the solution to stop bullying.

The Boys and Girls Club is encouraging the Okanagan community to wear pink on February 23 to show that bullying will no longer be tolerated.

Boys and Girls Clubs across the Okanagan will be participating in planned activities that provide education, awareness and teach skills to encourage empathy building during the week leading up to Pink Shirt Day.

Pink Shirt Day originated in Nova Scotia where a new high-school student was being bullied and harassed when he showed up at school wearing a pink T-shirt.

In support, two young men purchased 50 pink T-shirts from a discount store and enlisted fellow students to wear the pink shirts at school to support the new student who was being bullied.

Since this powerful act of solidarity, Pink Shirt Day has made its way across Canada and into B.C. and is now internationally recognized.

This year the response has been overwhelming, with over 4,000 shirts being sold in the Okanagan alone and a national shortage of pink cotton shirts.

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Facebook messages send out alarming signal
Kelowna Capital News - By Kathy Michaels - June 10, 2010

Facebook has become the battleground for a war of words sparked by one teen’s violent death at a Peachland house party last week.

As has become commonplace with the passing of loved ones, a page dedicated to Ashlee Hyatt, 16, was put up on the popular social networking site just hours after her June 2 death.

While its intent was to commemorate the young woman, hateful remarks poured in prompting those who created the site to increase security options, reducing public access. That sparked a cycle of sorts.

“A number (of sites) have popped up and have been taken down,” said Hugh Gloster, the superintendant of the Central Okanagan school district, adding that online networking tools are blocked from district computers. “Some went up with genuine attempts to show appropriate sympathy in the aftermath of a tragedy, but some people take advantage and do things that are inappropriate. Quite frankly it concerns me that anybody from anywhere can go in and post messages, for what could otherwise be an appropriate way to express feelings, and stir up emotions.”

The depth of efforts to stir up negativity is shocking to many of those who have seen the site.

Manipulated photos re-enacting the murder with a cartoonish twist are commonplace on the most recent webpage to appear, as is commentary on the dead teenager’s behaviour.

While the content of the images and words are unsettling, there are dozens if not hundreds of user comments that follow each entry. There, fights between those who knew the teen or have nothing better to do continue on for pages.

And Gloster is correct about the far-reaching impact of the site. The Facebook page reached the home of a family in Rocky Mountain House, Alta., prompting one man to call the Capital News to complain.

“Something has gone wrong with the people who live there,” said Ryan Hutton, who added he stumbled on the site through a third party and has since reported it to police. “High school students were mean when I was young, but this takes it to a whole new level. I’m disgusted by what these high school kids have to say.”

According to someone posting by the name of Catherine Payne, one site was set up as a red-herring, of sorts.

While she flames dissent through her comments, she told one infuriated reader that its intent is to draw attention away from the accused.

“I’m not mad because (the accused) is going behind bars. Even more, I’m not mad at all, I’m just disappointed for what she did,” the entry reads.

“The time can’t be turned back and Ashlee won’t come back, but I at least can take the heat off (the accused) family. Before this group came online they got threatened for the actions of (the accused) With the launch of the group, people found a new person to hate on: me and others.”

Regardless of the intent, social networking has loomed large since the Peachland party that ended in tragedy.

During the accused’s bail hearing this week, a ban on her using social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter was imposed in addition to an order of 24-hour house arrest.

That said, Facebook memorial pages are becoming more common and are usually helpful, said UBC professor Michael Woodworth. Specializing in psychopathy, criminal behaviour and how they tie into the web, Woodworth said negative outpourings of any sort are atypical. Through his own research, and more being conducted by colleagues at Cornell University, Woodworth said the vast majority of comments on memorial sites as positive and uplifting. “A site having the level of atrocious stuff that’s being put on there and done, is not the norm.”

Another UBC professor, Alfred Hermida, believes that what we see on Facebook pages, and the like, is merely an imprint of what’s happening on the schoolyard.

“If this took place in the school yard, you don’t hear about it happening unless one of the students involved told a teacher,” he said. “Once you take it online the information is available to everyone…and gets a wider airing than what was intended.”

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Bullying affecting daughter’s school work
Penticton Western News - April 13, 2010

Question: My 14-year-old daughter recently came home from school with a note from the teacher asking for a parent teacher conference re: her behaviour (skipped classes).

She tells me she is having trouble with several girls (supposed to be Christians) harassing her, so she has decided to give up drama and arts, which she is good at and loves. I think they are bullying her. She is a bit shy, not popular and doesn’t have the “in fad clothes”. But sad to say, I am a mom on a low income and can’t do anything about that. I worry because I am at work a lot and not there for her after school.

Marie Answers: This is always a difficult issue, but be prepared to co-operate with the teacher and find out what she knows is going on. Maybe she could arrange for the school counsellor to speak with your daughter, the teacher and yourself and form a plan to help resolve it.

However, encourage your daughter not to give up on her interests and do what you can to help her work with the school counsellor to regain her self confidence. Also give yourself credit for the love and sacrifice you make for her every day. Being a single mom is one of the hardest jobs ever.

Gerry Answers: Enrol her in a self-development class e.g. karate, tae kwon do or baseball class. That will provide her a new outlet for her to make new friends.

Question: My wife is completely obsessed with our kids since they came along (we’ve been married two years and have two kids). I don’t get a look in, and recently I have been laid off from my construction job.

I feel now I was only a paycheque. Because I don’t bring home the big paycheques she seems to be angry with me all the time and wants to control my days to do things she wants done because I am not working. I can’t even have a beer when I want one.

Marie Answers: Sounds like your really hurting and maybe feeling disrespected.

Of course the time you spent together before the kids came along was a different life time, and having the kids has put you on the sidelines.

Many moms drift into a child-conscious world, excluding the dad and even other family members. So now she may be feeling scared that her world is collapsing around her, and is blaming you. However, you can reassure her that you are confident and will get work soon, but this is a time when you both need to pull together. Divided you both will fail. Tell her you need her now more than ever. And be patient, you will find work. Look at what you already have — a wife and healthy children. You are already a success story,

Gerry Answers: Yeah, it’s tough when you realize your second, or third, or fourth, in the pecking order, but that’s what being a man is. Your now the guy who has to hold the stuff together. You’ll probably have dozens of jobs in your lifetime, but you will never have the privilege of being the father you are right now. So, now’s the time to show real manhood. Give her some space, but suggest that you both see a pastor or counsellor so you both have a chance to talk about your relationship and what can be done to help you both to understand and respect each other, and your individual needs.

Question: My son, 27, has been dating a woman (32) and seems to be very serious about her. They have only known each other four months, both work in the same gas station. He wants to marry her (she has two children from another relationship). The dad lives out of province, and pays no support. My son has been covering her rent and other expenses, and wants to move in with her and eventually wants to marry her. He has not had a lot of girlfriends, but he is very responsible and is financially secure. My husband and myself have met her and are not impressed at all. What can we do to keep him safe?

Marie Answers: Well you can’t really interfere with your son’s choices that he wants to make in his life (unless he asked for your opinion). It seems he is a sensible young man, so all you can do is support him while he ventures into this unknown journey. However, it would be a good thing if you could be respectful of her, since if she does becomes your daughter-in-law, and you show your displeasure now, you could possibly lose your son and maybe grandchildren and many other future enjoyable times together. I would also suggest a parenting course for your son if he is to become a step-dad, he will need some practical information and could benefit from a course in many other ways.

Gerry Answers: At 27 years, your son needs you to back off and let him make his own mistakes if that is what his future holds.


Gerry and Marie Prior have 30 years experience in counselling and operate GemCare Counselling in Penticton. They can be reached at 250-809-9762, or send your questions to gemcare "at" shaw.ca or their website at www.gemcarecounselling.com. This column is meant for general advice, and does not replace professional counselling

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Pink Shirt Day moves to stop bullying
Vernon Morning Star - April 06, 2010

The Okanagan Boys and Girls Clubs join the provincial and national movements to celebrate Pink Shirt Day — Bullying Stops Here April 14.

Boys and Girls Clubs across the Okanagan will be participating in planned activities that provide education, awareness and teach skills to encourage empathy-building. Organizers encourage the community to wear pink on April 14 to show that bullying will no longer be tolerated.

Pink Shirt Day originated in Nova Scotia when two young men stood up to bullying in their high school.

A new student was being bullied when he came to school wearing a pink T-shirt. The other students bought 50 pink T-shirts and got other students to wear them to school to show support for the new student who was being bullied.

Since this powerful act of solidarity, Pink Shirt Day has made its way across Canada. Last year the call to make a statement against bullying by wearing pink was met with an overwhelming response from schools, employers and politicians. Thousands of people wore pink to school and work.

Everyone is encouraged to wear pink April 14 to show support against bullying. Pink T-shirts are available for $5 at London Drugs stores or by contacting Miriam King at 250-762-3914 or mking "at" boysandgirlsclub.ca.

All proceeds will go to help support the Okanagan Boys and Girls Clubs.

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Generally the worse you are being bullied and the longer it continues, the more symptoms you will have. The degree to which you experience any or all of these effects also depends on the intensity of the targeting, and your social support structure.

Emotional Symptoms:

forgetfulness
intermittently functioning memory
difficulty in learning new information
poor concentration
indecision
hypersensitivity
hypervigilance
hyperawareness
emotional numbness and lack of enthusiasm of life in general
sense of isolation
withdrawal from those you love and trust (self-imposed)
lack of usual social contact
sense of confusion and bewilderment
excessive guilt and/or feelings of shame and embarrassment
an unusual degree of fear, sometimes for no known reason
feelings of insecurity and/or desperation
unexplainable (or explainable but uncontrollable) angry outbursts
sullenness and high levels of constant frustration
mood swings, including mania and/or depression
tearfulness
irritability
loss of humour
obsessiveness
unusual thoughts, such as a need to count things or "tune out" to control anger fear and shame
inability to take care of yourself or others in your care
inability to trust others, especially people at work or new people to your environment
need to "escape" in activities that help you "veg" out and keep you from having to think
need for "retail therapy" or "comfort" spending
flashbacks and replays (sometimes part of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms)
new phobias
shattered self-confidence and self-esteem, low self-image, loss of self-worth and self-love
stress
anxiety
panic attacks
thoughts of suicide

Physical Symptoms:

sleeplessness and fatigue (including Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and insomnia)
sleep disturbances (such as sleeping by day and/or an inability to sleep or waking up at night)
intense desire to sleep doing routine tasks (such as driving along familiar routes)
occasional bursts of energy, followed by exhaustion and sometimes pain
back pain
unexplainable joint/muscle pain
chest pains, angina, and/or high blood pressure
headaches and migraines
excessive sweating
palpitations and trembling
disturbance of balance
unusual clumsiness (such as an inability to grasp small objects, separate sheets of paper or tendency to drop cups,etc.)
physical numbness (especially in toes, fingers, and lips)
hormonal problems (disturbed menstrual cycle, dysmenorrhoea, loss of libido, impotence)
irritable bowel syndrome
thyroid problems and/or inability to control body temperature
skin irritations, rashes and skin disorders (e.g.: athlete's foot, eczema, psoriasis, shingles, internal and external ulcers, etc)
scratching
tics
loss or gain - a change - of appetite
excessive or abnormal thirst
development of new allergies
reduced immunity to infection leading to frequent colds, coughs, flu etc.
sense imbalances or altering of senses (such as in sight loss, hearing sensitivities, touch, smell, taste and appetite sensitivities)
eye problems, such as new prescriptions needed "virtually overnight"
dislike of loud noises and bright lights
ringing in the ears
intense dislike of high pitched sounds of fluorescent lights at malls, etc.
reactive vomiting before, during or after meetings (or at the site of a "triggering" incident, person, place or thing or from just the thought of going to certain locations)
excessive need to bite or teeth grinding
increased reliance on drugs such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, sleeping tablets, tranquillisers, antidepressants, etc. to 'help you get through the day'
 

Source: http://www.nobullyforme.org/health.shtml

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The problem is that bystanders all too often become silent because they are afraid the bully will turn her wrath against them. “Even if they don’t join in the bullying, the bystanders become a huge problem because they’re no support,” says Karen Learmonth, cohead of No Bully for Me, a Canadian support group, based in Vancouver, and resource for adult bullying . She says the target of the bullying feels she has no one to turn to and no one to trust.

http://www.canadianliving.com/relationships/friends_and_family/adult_bullying_how_you_can_fight_back_4.php

Should you find yourself the victim of other peoples bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, Remember this, things could be much worse.  You could be one of them!

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Never doubt the ability of a small group of concerned citizens to change the world.  In fact, it is the only thing that ever has.

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If you have comments, ideas, solutions, concerns or complaints regarding bullying in the Okanagan please contact RDCO, B.C., or Canada government at the links below, and make a comment by filling out the comment form below.

Regional District of Central Okanagan

Government of B.C.

Government of Canada

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